Service is the Love of Christ

When I was waiting to find out if I had cancer I told my husband that I didn't think it would be cancer because that trial would not test my faith. Apparently, that is not the only thing that trials are meant for. About two months after my thyroid was removed I was having a very difficult time because my thyroid hormone dosage was too low (although I didn't know what the problem was at the time). I asked Handsome Husband for a priesthood blessing. In it he told me that the cancer was given to me so I could see other people's love for me and to give me the opportunity to allow others to lift my burdens.

When I dealt with my surgery many people brought us meals and watched the girls for me. Some people sent cards in the mail. Handsome Husband's co-workers sent cards and a book and were very supportive towards him. They sent home a meal from leftover conference food. Handsome Husband was in a community orchestra and they gave us a flower arrangement from one of their performances. A friend gave me flowers. People called and asked how things were. I was AMAZED at how comforting and humbling it was to hear people say that they were praying for me.

In the past year since the surgery I often get asked how things are going with my cancer and when I'm going in for my radiation. I'm sure that the big scar on my neck is a nice reminder to them about that. (It looks much better these days)

As the time has come closer for my radiation I have been approached by countless people asking how they can help and what it will involve. One friend spent six hours helping me cook for the low iodine diet that I start on Wednesday. Another friend surprised me with a loaf of French bread that she made with non-iodized salt, just for me. When I sent out an email request for a bread machine to borrow, I had four immediate offers and one friend actually swung by and dropped hers off for me. Another friend offered to watch my kids so I could cook. Many friends have said they would take my kids for play dates if I can't deal with them when I'm off my thyroid meds in the coming weeks. In talking to the Relief Society President she told me to just call and they would help. My mom is taking time off work to fly out and help for a little over a week. My family is fasting for me next fast Sunday. My grandparents are letting me come in all my radiated glory and contaminate their house for a week (they should be safe from the radiation because of their age). My in-laws are helping Handsome Husband take care of my kids during my radiation. My husband is taking two weeks of work off to care for me and the kids. He is helping me cook and he'll have to deal with a baby who isn't completely weaned. My husband has supported me during my lows and my even lowers, I could never quantify all he has done to help me.

Yesterday I went to a Women's Conference. I don't remember much because I was bouncing Captain Adorable for most of it. But I do remember hearing that when others serve us, they are doing what Christ would do if He was here. And I know I've heard that countless times. But at this time when I am the recipient of SO MUCH service it struck me really hard. If Christ were here He would surprise me with a loaf of bread I could eat. He would bring me a bread machine to borrow. He would help me cook for 6 hours. He would offer to play with my kids and feed my family. He would take time off work to help me. He would let my husband and kids come and stay with him when I can't take care of them. He would let me come and stay with him so I won't be alone and totally isolated for a whole week. He would fast and pray for me. He would send me emails and cards and make comments on my blog with words of comfort and encouragement. He would send me flowers. Imagine if all this service came from just one person.

The one offer that sent me over the edge, that had tears brimming in my eyes was this: at the Women's Conference yesterday a sister approached me and told me that her mother-in-law had the thyroid cancer and when she was recovering from the surgery and in the hospital she felt gross and ugly. And someone came in to the room (who had also recovered from a cancer) and she offered to wash her hair and style it so that she could feel beautiful and at least her hair would be done. My friend offered to come and do something like that for me, to wash my hair or something. She said if there was anything that I was just too tired to do and it would help me feel better that she would come and do it. I think I have an idea of why it was such a big deal for the Savior to wash the disciples feet. Because to me, this was like that. I honestly felt the Savior's love for me shining through her. Because if He were here, that's what He would do for me. I wish I could convey how loved and humbled I felt by that offer.

I know that in the coming month I will be the recipient of even more service and kindness from everyone around me. I plan to record it, so I don't forget and so I will be able to look back and see just how much the Savior loves me. And how He shows it through those people around me, the people I love. I am scared to see how bad I get, but I am comforted to know that there will be people here who want to help. And I want them to know that for everything they do, the glory will be given to Christ. Because they will be His hands in my life. And I am humbled by that love because it is abundant and amazing. And I know I don't deserve it, especially because I often drag my feet at the opportunity to serve others. Perhaps that's another reason I have been given this trial. To learn to joyfully give service in return because it is showing Christ's love.