Enough Already

I'm so tired of being tired!  I was tired BEFORE the surgery from being pregnant and a possible thyroid horomone imbalance.  Now I'm tired because I'm RECOVERING from surgery and I'm pregnant.  It mostly doesn't hurt anymore.  I still have some muscle soreness and I can't lift my neck all the way because of pulling from the incision site.  And there's still some pinching.  But I'm just sleeping A LOT.  My kids are going on a movie marathon.  Sweetie seems all too excited and she'll bring me more movies to watch before the next one is even over.  Baby Dragon is definitely feeling put off.  She was used to my once a day naps, but the all day every day nap isn't flying with Baby Dragon.  Luckily, I've needed less and less sleep as the days go by, but I still have no energy to do anything.  It did snow this morning so the girls got to go out in their snow suits for 15 minutes to enjoy it.  They do like to color and Baby Dragon is often pretending with her toys.

Today I took them to a friends' house to play for a couple of hours and I just came home and collapsed in bed.  THAT WAS SO NICE!  And it was hard.  I cried when I left them.  I felt like I was letting my kids down by being so incapable of being able to care for them.  I realize that I just had a surgery, but I've never had a surgery before and I didn't know it would be like this.  So I'm trying to bot be too hard on myself.  I mean, I could have just been crying from pregnant horomones, or a build of stress about the whole situation.  

And because everyone wants to see it when they visit, here's a lovely picture of my neck:

They cut lower than I thought they would.  They say it'll take 6 months to look normal.  Oh, good news is after looking at the pathology report, the doctor says I'm at a Stage I (no idea what that means) and that I have a less than 1 percent chance of ever dying from this. Woo. hoo.

Right now the biggest problem I'm dealing with is my hoarse voice.  It's higher and softer.  People can't really understand me on the phone, so sorry I haven't been calling much.  It doesn't hurt to talk, but it does start to feel strained after a while.  I can only read one book at a time to the kids and even then I'm not sure if they are enjoying it since my voice is so weird.  I used to sing a song to them every night before bed, but that's out right now.  Now I just talk with them for a minute or two about their day.  They are pretty insistent that I help put them to bed.  Our bedtime ritual involves both Handsome Husband and I and they don't like it when Handsome Husband tries to put them to bed solo.  

Handsome Husband has been incredible.  All this week he has been able to get the girls up, dressed and fed before he leaves for work.  Then he's been able to come home from work a little early every day.  It's been soo nice!  As soon as he walks in the door, I go up to bed!  He's kept up with the dishes and he did a full week's worth of laundry while I was in the hospital.  He's the most amazing husband ever.